How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
