I'm going to rape someone's good day.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
