he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
