she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is Oprah even human
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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