good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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