I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
