I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
