don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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