did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
