Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
sex in a hospital.. check
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