my phone needs a breathalizer
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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