Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
