So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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