This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
