break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
