we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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