Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
