Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
