Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
