hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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