Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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