No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
