Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you would pick up someone in the library
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
