someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
