So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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