Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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