Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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