Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
