they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
