he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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