i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
