Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
