You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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