I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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