Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
