I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize