lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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