At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
