Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
