Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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