I feel great
I just peed on a car
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
