she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize