escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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