I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
