He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
only you would photoshop your dick
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
