R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
