Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
