This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize