I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
