I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize