Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
