RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
