dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
