I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
