Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize