proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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