I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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