this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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