jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
