The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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