I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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