oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
