One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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