Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
