Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
